Just like MSF High, first impressions are incredibly irritating, as you are shown a ridiculously large banner proclaiming the comic's name (and probably some ads - I have adblock, but there's lots of empty space above said banner), and an incredibly ugly set of navigation buttons, enclosed in a table layout. Hey, at least they aren't as ugly as the buttons she uses for navigation between comics. Oh, and so you don't have to go looking for it, here is the ugliest and most unnecessary page on her website - a hideous dark yellow and green page which reads "under construction".
Now we're done lampooning Tealya (the furry)'s dreadful website, let's take a look at just why her comic is the worst thing. Now, I'm probably not meant to tell you this, but Yang Child is so bad that it was once featured on Portal of Evil.
Anyway, let's start with the obvious fact that Tealya's webcomic is a generic shitty fantasy-style shitfest. What's the story? Well, have I got an extremely original surprise for you! Yang Child is about two wobbly-headed animu-style girls who had a tragic past and are now travelling by their lonesome also one of them is magical and may possibly be an earthly avatar of the great goddess and one of them is manly. Then we've got their cuddly mascot characters, dragons who were turned into cats by some magic or another for whatever reason. And of course you've got your shadowy figure that follows them around for some reason and "hmmms" a lot. Then there's also your generic hamfisted social commentary! About the wimminz and about the
I guess the main complaint about Yang Child's "story" is its incredible sameness. It just falls so easily into the pile of mediocre that it's offputting. And the pacing, urgh, it feels like nothing is ever going anywhere, and when you read through the whole archives - all four and a half years - you find that it actually hasn't gotten anywhere. I'd like the moments of my life I wasted reading this to be returned, but I know it ain't happening, so now I'm just mad. With Tealya's atrocious storytelling style, coupled with Tealya's atrocious art, it all goes by so slowly.
Wanna see a good way not to pace a story? Here's an idea: if you want to show your main character's tragic backstory and for your readers to care about it, don't shove all of into a giant text wall across a crappy picture of photoshop-brushed grass. Mm-hmm. Here's another one about creating characters for your readers to identify with: You do not want to craft them to look like something straight out of the Uncanny valley.
And boy howdy, I thought the layout of Tealya's website was bad, but that ain't shit compared to the layout of her comic. I have yet another tip: if you needing arrows to show the cell order of a comic, it's a pretty good tell that you should redo the layout of that comic. Of course, that is narrowly better than hearing in ridiculous detail about how a main character shot a bandit in the shoe (not the foot). Or an epic swordfight that lasted for a week which consisted entirely of two sword-tips wiggling at one another. Epic stuff. I will say this though. Tealya is one step ahead of fucking MSF High - when she says she'll update twice weekly she bloody well will, or leave bad excuses. When Wraith and Aakashi say they'll update MSF High thrice weekly and beg you for your money, well... I think they updated once this December, right?
And while we're on the art, oh god the art, I'll yet again rave madly about how stupid weeaboo comics with an art "style" based on really cheap anime is the worst thing. Well now children, would you like to see stunning examples of how not to draw facial profiles?! Of course you would, that's why you read webcomics! Here's Tealya's old profiles, a sort of middle-aged mouthflappy profile, and one of her most recent profiles. Somehow, over four years, she's managed to make them all suck in entirely different ways! Congratulations, Tealya! You fail!
But, you know what really brings a distinguished storytelling style into light? Art that really shines with the movement of the characters! That ain't what we got here. We do have some seriously funny shit though, thanks Tealya. 1st panel, 2nd funniest pose ever. 2nd panel, 1st funniest pose ever. I honestly don't know how to explain it any clearer than that. But it is probably the worst thing. Along with the ridiculously ugly fonts that Tealya insists on using for her characters. NO, Tealya. Those fonts AREN'T for comics. DON'T use them mm'kay.
I'm just about all ranted out, so I'll leave you with this unnecessarilly naked 15 year old, care of Tealya the furry, whose webcomic (one of two she makes) is the worst thing.
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